Artificial Blood

This artificial blood is a very recent development in the worlds of medicine and science. Researchers have created artificial red blood cells through the use of stem cells capable of transporting oxygen. This fake blood will be available for human study purposes in as little as 2 years. So what do I think about artificial blood? Well first let me say that I am all about existentialism. Of there are very different sides and views on the subject of existentialism. I choose not to pick a certain stand point and just go with whatever I feel like or I feel everyone is around is like in relation to me. On this certain matter, the matter of artificial blood which will most likely lead to other artificial body fluids, organs, and systems, I am all for it. The further we get from the olden days, the better, because those days were the worst! No TV, no internet, no light bulbs, no electricity: this is a list of reasons why those times were totally lame compared to the modern age. The further we get from really "existing" the closer we get to my fantasy of a real life iRobot happening and the hero being myself. So keep working on artificial stuff, everyone! I like it!

The "Invention" of Free Speech

Today I am going to talk about the "invention" of freedom of speech. I had the opportunity, thanks to my kind and beautiful creative writing teacher, to sit in and listen to a few heated debates regarding controversial subjects. These debates were an assignment for English class. This made me think. The idea of people arguing with each other for a grade in school sounds rather strange: everyone having different views and getting to express them openly. It's a wonder to think how things have changed since our founding fathers wrote those words regarding American's free speech policies. This invention has no doubt helped form our country become the thriving "super-power" it is today. This may, in fact, be one of our nation's, and possibly world's, greatest inventions to date.

Go America!

Actually, now that I think about it, it's probably not one of our world's greatest inventions. It's certainly not one of the most useful. It's good, though. Freedom of speech is good.

Panoramic Ball Camera

 This revolutionary camera may change the way we take pictures forever. It is in the shape of a ball with multiple lenses on every face. The ball is designed to be tossed into the air and snap a picture as it peaks. You get a full shot of everything around you 360 degrees! Let me tell you what I think about this. I think it's great for a variety of purposes. Like, for instance, if you see a nice lookin' lady or fella pass by you can quickly whip out your ball and toss it up into the air to get a picture of your could-be girlfriend or boyfriend. The Panoramic Ball Camera: great for stalkers! The camera would also be great for defending yourself against stalkers. If you saw someone take out there Panoramic Ball Camera and toss it into the air and you assumed they were taking a picture of you, you could take out your Panoramic Ball Camera and throw it at them. The ball is coated with material to make it nearly indestructable!

The Floating Noah Survival Capsule

The Floating Noah Survival Capsule is a brand new safety device created in Japan. The Noah is designed to protect you from fire or flood. Models in development can accommodate up to 12 adults, but the majority of models ready for use today have room for 4. The Noah includes a porthole, air vents, and a bright yellow exterior so the capsule will be at maximum visibility to rescuers. Well, Japan, let me tell you what I think. I like it. A lot. First of all, it looks like a new, modern, yellow version of a giant pokeball. I love Pokemon! And I love thinking about all the people popping out of these capsules like real life Pokemon! Only when they actually pop out they'll probably be all distraught and angry from whatever disaster they had just endured rather than really excited and happy with those cliche Japanese anime eyes where they're just lines like they're squinting or something but they actually look really happy. They wouldn't be very much fun to play with. Second of all, it's something no one will ever buy or have, and if people do eventually buy it, it would be really cool just sitting in their house. By then everything will probably look a lot different though, like really futuristic and white and silver, so it probably won't look as cool then. 
I believe that the Floating Noah Survival Capsule is a marvelous invention. Keep up the good work, guys!

Doggie Porthole

This week's invention is the Doggie Porthole by Hammacher Schlemmer. It's designed for the curious pooch wondering what's on the other side of the fence. Now, given this ingenious invention, you may assume that I will spend my time bashing this invention and its inventor because of its faults or, perhaps, ranting about some slightly off-topic subject matter concerning my own ideology and opinions, but don't jump to any conclusions. Let me tell you what I really think of the Doggie Porthole. I think it's more or less a clear plastic bowl screwed onto a fence. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is a bad thing. Quite frankly, I think it's a brilliant way for wealthy dog owners living in a gated (and fenced) community to let their carsickness-prone canine see a little more of the world. Granted, this invention is only valid for that small and select minority, but so what? Isn't that how all inventions start out? Not everyone was able to use the light bulb when old Benny Franklin first created it, but now it's an extremely common everyday item. I think we should all aspire to one day own a Doggie Porthole; to one day live in a suburban gated community and own a dog, but be too busy all the time to walk him. Isn't that the American dream, after all? I believe it is.
In conclusion, the Doggie Porthole is the American dream and we, I at least, will continue to chase that dream.