The Sleepbox

The Sleepbox is a device invented by the Russian architecture group Arch Group. It was designed as a safe haven for busy travelers who need to catch up on sleep in an airport or train station. Inside the Sleepbox there is a bed, a television, and other amenities depending on location. You can rent a box for anywhere from 15 minutes to a few hours. So what do I think of this new invention? Well, I don't think much of it. "And why is that, Ej?" a reader asks. Well, my dear appreciated reader, I don't think much of the Sleepbox simply because it was designed by the Russians. Everybody knows that anything Russia can do, America can do better. So why are we settling for this meager attempt of a resting area in an airport when one of us Americans could create a far more substantial version? That question is best directed to America's lazy inventors. The cool things are being invented in Japan, all we're making are boring iPhones and mp3 players. Let's think back to a time when America was the number 1 contender in the world-weight class; when Russia was competing but always coming in 2nd. Those were the days. The Russians would send a monkey into space and America would come in and one-up them by launching a real animal into orbit- a man. Now, I know some of you may object stating that monkeys are, in fact, real animals. Well, I don't know much about scientific-ology, but I do know a lot about box office hits. And if Rise of the Planet of the Apes has taught me anything, it's that primates are far inferior to mankind so long as you don't acknowledge their intelligence and/or use them as Alzheimer's medication research projects. The Russians, obviously, did acknowledge a chimp's intelligence by sending one into space, which therefore makes them inferior to primates. Now chew on that one America; you are being out-invented by a bunch of beings inferior to monkeys. Inferior to monkeys. The bold italics should help reinforce just how much the greatest country in the world has digressed.

"But, Ej, surely the greatest country in the world can't be the greatest country in the world in every subject matter and area of the endless list of possibilities of things to be greatest at. Right?"

Well, yes, I suppose that is right. I must have overlooked that part. My apologies.