The Voice Stick

This week's invention is the Voice Stick, a device that enables the sightless with the ability to read. This invention is used by plugging in the headphones attached to the stick so you can hear a friendly voice read you the text you are scanning over. Scan the stick over any form of text (Newspaper, books, mail, business cards...) and the words will be read to you. The Voice Stick was designed for blind people to be able to read forms of text other than braille. All buttons on the stick are, however, labeled in braille. Now, I know it is difficult to find braille these days, but don't you think that maybe we're giving a little too much power to the impaired? Blind people already reap enough benefits, such as: getting to take dogs into places labeled "No Dogs Allowed," and there are others. With all the perks blind people enjoy, I am seriously considering losing my sight in some horrid way that will make a great pick-up line in the future. I'm telling you, America, the more convenient we make life for the impaired, the more they will believe they are actually one of us. It's like in the movie iRobot when the robots become too able and too smart and threaten human existence. Luckily, there was a brilliant, heroic black man who rushed in and saved the day. Am I the brilliant, heroic black man in this situation? I can't say so myself, but yes, I am. Watch out, Will Smith, because in  a world where the blind empire is on the rise, Ej Kruser will be your savior.
Now, as you've probably realized I have nothing against the blind and wish them luck on their meteoric rise to power. The Voice Stick should do wonders for the vision impaired and perhaps someday, a blind person my even be able to read this blog.